The Ice Cowboy: A Preverbial Tale That I Just Made Up

When Jack Frost sticks his ethnically offensive nose around the corner of Fall and Winter, America meets it head on. The plows are a plowing; the salt is vigarously distributed; shovels are moving at a steady pace; snow blowers are obnoxiously blowing. America's fear of the law suit and cowboy heritege allows the country to be funtional in the snowy months of winter. Now I am only speaking for the parts of America that is USED to occational snow accumilation. It is as if these snowy states (VT, ND, NY, even NJ) have a mythical hero who preotects them from complete month long shut downs and danger. I call him the Ice Cowboy.

As you can see the Ice Cowboy carries not a pistol in his holster- but an ice scraper. In his arms in not a shotgun- but a snow shovle. He herds not cows- but snow plows. Those are not mini plows; he is just that big. As is his horse. The Ice Cowboy is the giant man who protects the colder snowy regions of America from a lack of production. We must always work and be active, valued members of society. Sometimes it is a bit much for him, but he is only slowed down a bit. He is never stopped. The Ice Cowboy will only allow stop to hinder him for a day or two. HOORAY!

Why do I bring this up? Because England has no such perverbial tale. England has not great protector to face blizzards head on bravely. So when the British Isles get a good inch of snow, everything stops. There are no plows, salt, or even shovels. Shops close. Roads are completely undrivable. Walkways are terribly dangerous. Life comes to a scetching hault for DAYS. The whole country shuts down. It only takes a flurry to provent any planes from leaving or entering Heathrow.

I live in North East England, and it is a far colder snowier place than London, and we were shut down for over a month. Classes continued, but obtaining any means of getting there was impossible. When you fall flat on your ass because of ice, no one laughs because they have fallen twice already. The snow started Wednesday of November 24th. It was light and fun, but it was continual. The snow did not stop for two weeks. The roads were finally safe to drive on New Years Day. I kid you not. There was ice to be found everywhere. If only they had a cowboy of their own...