What I Will Miss: My Cats

When I am in England, I will miss my cats. I suppose it is only natural for a lesbian to miss her cats. God I am cliche. Just know that I never played softball!

My cats are awesome though. In 2007, I just graduated college. I was moving in with my gay best friend Billy, a bi-curious nerd Cathy, and a straight girl from Mexico who was a grad student. We all decided that the little two bedroom needed one more to be complete, so we got our home a kitten. Her name was Rosalind (my second favorite Shakespeare character).

You will notice that Roz, pictured above, is rather round with a very pink belly. She has a womanly figure and an anxiety disorder. Roz tends to become overwhelmed when she feels feelings. If she is lonely, frightened, relieved, or happily excited, she tends to bite the hair off of her body.

Roz does not like many people. She is a bitch. She will bite, scratch, and hiss at an unwelcomed attempt to approach her. I love her because she loves me. I feel special that she misses me when I am gone and allows me to pick her up and hug her. She even sleeps by my feet when she is feeling frisky. She is not a hide under the bed kind of cat; she is always in view, and she is always watching you. I find it cute. My sister found it horrifying and did not visit me and Roz much.

In 2009 I was living alone with Roz and my girl friend moved in with me. She often complained that she didn't get to know Roz as a kitten. I did not have the capability to build a time machine, so like any other lezzie would do, I got a kitten. We named her Anyanka (my favorite Buffy character).

Anya, pictured above, is Roz's foil. She is as friendly as a mammal can get. She loves everyone instantly and wants to immediately show her affection with cute little meows and face rubs. Anya is a slut. I love her because she is loveable, but Roz's love makes me feel special because it is a rare gift given to only me and select others. Anya won't even notice that I will be away for a year.

One great thing about Anya is that she likes to spoon. It's true. She will allow me to hold her in my arms while I sleep. She also will get tangled in my hair some nights and purr happily because there is no way for her to be any closer to me while Roz is by my feet anxiously dreading the moment when my toe accidentally touches her paw.

They are magical things my kittens.